My Personal Evaluation

Staying here inside the seminary for about approximately 1.5 year, I have many changes since the first day I stayed here. Being a rookie in the seminary needs a lot of adjustments and patience especially on dealing with my companions and the seminary schedule. I thought that seminary life would be easy and fun but I was definitely wrong. I need to exert more effort in developing myself especially the skills that will need in my future ministry. Truly, I had the difficulty of improving and learning the skills that I need to know. Sometimes this discourages me in pursing my chosen vocation. Becoming a priest is not so easy especially a Salesian priest. When I was still a first year aspirant, there were many things that bothered me like I was always asking myself that “am I really fit to this kind of life?”, “am I really called by him? Why I am still here?” these were the questions that still don’t have any answers. I fell like a paper on the sea which follows the waves wherever they go.

As I scanned through my “Personal Plan of Life” which I submitted last year. I wrote in my priority objectives that after one year I must know how to play the guitar, read novels and long stories of saints, improve my study habits, practice playing football, improve my singing, prayer life and grammar, leadership, read the Bible, able to read properly, able to speak English accurately. But sad to say, all of these were not accomplished.

I would like to thank you for helping me know myself better. I saw parts of me that changed since I entered here. Allow me to narrate some of them based on the Profile of a Salesian Aspirant. Speaking of work, I changed a lot in this matter since at our home I didn’t work even sweat can’t be seen when I am there. I enjoying working and at the same time I appreciated its beauty and usefulness. While in sports, I also have countless changes in this area at home I didn’t like to play especially outdoor games. I didn’t expect that I will be able to play football and experience the joy when I am in the field with my companions. Each time the bell will rings for games, my body automatically energized for that activity it seems that games is so important in my formation. (Hehehe) Personal hygiene is very important since I don’t want to be tease with my companions I make it a point to be clean and presentable every day. After many months of doing this, I feel uncomfortable when this is not animated.

I had difficulties regarding my family, as what I have shared to Fr. Rector last time when I ask him to talk with him. This problem affects me most especially with my studies and seminary life. I didn’t expect that this problem will come in my life this year. I accepted the unique qualities of man and woman their individual weakness and strengths. Speaking of relationships with opposite sex, I had a hard time on departing myself from this kind of relationship especially when it is already passing over the line of friendship. At first I expect that this kind of scenario will not be a problem for me since during my high school years this was not always in my mind. Maybe this is the effect that I was not able to join in with this kind of relationship. Relationship with my companions was difficult for me and I had a hard time on dealing with it but as the time went by, it just went smoothly and this time I don’t have much problem with it.

Community activities, I actively participate them in the seminary. Sometimes I feel bothered because it is done repeatedly. I care for my personal properties especially to my valuables. In fulfilling my duties as a seminarian, I make it a point that I will be able to finish all of it in time. In good and responsible choices, sometimes I choice things that will not really help me in my formation and I am not aware that it will really distract my formation. I enjoy the nature and environment; by gazing on beautiful places especially on mountains and grassy places. I tried to make use of the seminary’s environment as my training ground for the keeping trash in its right place. And I know that these will really help me in the mere future.

As a seminarian, I tried myself to engage myself with Christ by constant communication through prayer. Each time we will have our reconciliation, I make it a point that I will reflect during this period. Regarding my prayer life, I have noticed that it is slowly weakening than during my first year. Honestly, I lack some motivation and I really would try my best to improve on it this second semester. I always ask help to our blessed mother, Mary Help of Christians because I know that she will really grant my petitions and will help me in time of need. I don’t have much more knowledge about Don Bosco, the first time that I open the” Memoirs of Oratory” was when I need to have some facts about his life for my sermonette.

I accept the formation that our formators has planned for us. I don’t have any choice but to follow what they want for us. And I know that it’s for our own sake and not for them. Since I want to follow Don Bosco’s way I need to obey the formation plan. While I don’t have any backgrounds of the life of a Salesian, I don’t know some traditions and customs that they practice I only knew that they work for the young especially the poor ones. In percentage I am 60 percent open to my formators, I am not so close with them and sometimes I am afraid to talk with them.

In school, I enjoy doing my requirements and also here in the seminary. I really want to plan out things and I want to be busy always. I don’t have much more difficulties in school because much of my subjects dealt with numbers. I love to play with numbers and I really enjoy manipulating them. Regarding my study habits for this semester, I have a smooth sailing semester this time than the previous ones. Talking about reflecting, during meditation, I write my experiences in my journal and also my short prayer for that day. I know that it is not the right time to write during meditation but I don’t have any time and I am in my mood during that time.

Regarding communication skills and reading, I know that these are important because I will be a future priest or an educator someday so I really need to improve my communication skills. Honestly, I still tremble when I talk in front of many people it seems that they will terrorize me when I talk. I won’t let this year to pass without facing and improve this skill. Speaking of skills, I still don’t know how to play the guitar and some skills that will help me in the apostolate someday. These are some of the things that I have mind as I evaluate myself.